Tonight I had a late night anxiety attack. I seemed to be coasting along okay, managing today, and then suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, pops up my dear old friend Anxiety. For anyone else that knows him you’d know how excited I was for his visit (and yes Anxiety is a he because generally guys suck soooo…).
Cue the lump in the throat, racing heart, shaking hands, pacing, complete loss of concentration and zigzagging thoughts – all the usual anxiety attack symptoms.
And then I was bawling my eyes out. Sometimes it was for totally logical reasons such as current stressors I have in my life. Other times the reasons were not so logical. For example, I spent a good 30 minutes reading the profiles of dogs up for adoption. I cried for the unloved and homeless dogs, I cried at how precious dogs are and what they bring to our lives, I cried for how short their time is in comparison to ours and the unjustness of this. Yep, it went there. In my defence it was midnight. Midnight is always when emotional shit goes down.
I’ve taken medication to help and I’m trying to ride this out and get some sleep. Here’s to hoping I wake up tomorrow as bright as a daisy. Or, if I’m being realistic, at least bright enough to roll out of bed. Gotta keep this shit real, after all.